Jerry, you need to find god
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
