i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
