Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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