I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He felt like a one man threesome
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
