I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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