K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
