he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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