:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
