Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
