Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize