Three words: puerto rican gang bang
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i barfeds in our rink
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
