We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
