Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
