i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
