im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
