You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
