Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
