There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
