just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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