Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
