is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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