Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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