I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
