I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
