Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
