Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
