Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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