Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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