If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
