I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
