Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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