all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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