Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
