I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
