They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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