just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
