Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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