There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
