dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
