if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
