My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
