fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They took my balls.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
