Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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