i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
