The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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