Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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