Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
