oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
