There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
