Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
