Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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