Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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