so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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