Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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