I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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