Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
