Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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