I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
