And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
PANTIES FOUND
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
