My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
