It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
